10 CATEGORIES OF STUDENTS AND HOW THEY REACT TO SCHOOLS REOPENING

Since the Presidential Task Force (PTF) has okayed the reopening of schools,there has been much excitement amongst students who are now hoping for their schools to release much anticipated resumption dates. It is in this regard that we have compiled a list of different types of students and their likely reactions to schools reopening; 


 1. THE ISRAELITES 

 
This set of students are the relatively mild stalites and majority of the freshers who haven't had enough taste of campus life before Corona happened and are now extremely fed up of home. 
They crave genuine freedom from their bethought hostile parents. They who have hitherto celebrated leaving home and have even resumed months before the 2020/2021 session commenced but were immediately factory reset by COVID 19 are now very happy as they can now leave home again and find peace of mind in school.
 They are the ones mostly responsible for the fake BCs or announcements on resumption but the OAU security department's Twitter account has been debunking and casting them,much to their displeasure. 


 2. THE LOW BUDGET SCAMMERS 



These are the low budget Yahoo boys and girls that are using their parents as clients to cash out. They will collect money for textbooks and handouts that never exists. 
They have been at home with their respective clients so no format has worked in a while. They will be definitely happy that schools will be resuming soon so as to return to their petty businesses. 


 3. THE FORNICATORS 



This is the set of students, mainly stalites who stay in Awo and Faj hostels, and have always or mostly preyed on young ladies mostly in 100 level. 
They are extremely excited about the prospect of resumption as they have been on a long sabbatical leave from their hobbies. You will see them immediately school resumes with their big sweaters and Crocs on their way to Anglomoz,not to actually visit a friend in Angola but to scout for beautiful Mozambique queens. 



4. THE SLAY QUEENS


 This is the category of students who mostly stay at Maintenance and in town and have been immersed in the opulence of sugar daddies and zaddies of all variables.
 They are now tired of dressing properly,running errands and grinding tomatoes. Imagine a whole 'sexy Lizzie' going for choir practice or 'Posh Emerald' wearing a dabole niqab/hijab.
 They want to rush back to school to continue their runs and drop the fake life they live at home. They are definitely happy about school reopening.


 5. THE YAHOO BOYS


 You can call them any name you like but these Benefit boys will definitely be tremendously happy about schools reopening.
 We have seen several account names changing from a moderate 'Adewale Kayode' to 'Jessica Smith' or a 'Idahosa John' turning 'Pablo Cash'. These guys can't wait for schools to reopen so as to tension people's children with 'lockdown cashout'.
 They will definitely be the ones to take over your current girlfriends if you don't hold them tight. Watch out for them once school resumes as they will move out of their hostel corners to big apartments in Parakin and from their one rooms in A.P,Lagere to self cons and 3 bedrooms in Omole,Moremi and Oduduwa estates etc.



 6. THOSE THAT HAVE MOVED ON



 These ones accepted their fates early. They dropped the thoughts of being students and immediately secured lockdown jobs or started flexing immediately schools were closed.

 Some of them have learnt trade probably at the popular Onitsha main market,others have conceived and will be expecting their babies soon,some are now established family men,while some others have now become successful traders at Mile 12,Mobolade Oshodi,Sabon gari or even Gbagi markets in Ibadan. News of school resuming doesn't even bother them at all.


 7. THOSE THAT JUST WANT TO GRADUATE 


Students in this group are mostly those in graduating classes i.e students in 400,500 and 600 levels.
 They have been thanking God that OAU is not longer under ASUU and to some extent for the inexistence of Student Unionism which translates to a strike-free session. They never saw Corona coming and are now faced with the challenge of graduating soonest.
 They are the 'make we sha graduate','make Dem Sha tell graduating classes to resume' set. They just want to graduate and forget about school's stress' and struggles. 


 8. THE MARLIANS



  This is the 'set awon school na scam'. They rarely or should I say seldom attend classes during regular school hours talk less of when COVID 19 has changed status quo.
 They might have even forgotten their matric numbers or even e-portal passwords and are definitely not in the least happy about resumption. They just want to make money,relax and chop life. Who school epp?



 9. THE EXCOS OR POST HOLDERS 



Definitely,this set of students must have been the most troubled set. They have just been elected,appointed or just attained their respective posts and ready to unleash their tasks when COVID 19 happened.
 All their plans are now in disarray and they are now finding clues as to ammend the pieces/fragments of their pre-covid plans. When you see any of them,hug them and give them a few good words of encouragement. They want schools to resume but know less or nothing on how to handle the current quagmire they are in. 


10. THE UNBOTHERED



  This set of students can be fittingly tagged *OTHERS*. This group includes the psychos,timids,shallow mindeds,rich kids etc. They actually don't know if COVID 19 affected them or not or if schools matter or not.
 They take any in good faith and are unbothered about what government,parent or school say. They are not happy or sad about the prospect of schools resuming.
 

 We have come to the end of this list and we all agree that penning down every students reaction to the news of school resuming might be a difficult task as we are diverse in attitudes and behaviours,nonetheless, we are all expecting resumption in one way or the other.

 We can make this fun, let's tag anyone in our class,department,faculty or group who fits in each category,add other categories of students we think should have been contained in this list and those that shouldn't have made the list.

Let's all trend this!!! 
 

Lawal Shereef Babatunde 
DSNAOAU productions

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